Chapter 2: A Remarkable Vision

After days of silence between her parents, Abish decided that the confrontation from that morning had been better. At least they had been speaking then. Meal times were dreadful. Abish knew the silence was not her father’s choice, but she feared that if he tried to speak, Lanishe would just ignore him. Her parents had never been affectionate with one another or even very talkative, but this silence was different. It was heavy and oppressive, just like the weather.

She wasn’t sure if the weather seemed worse this year because of the mood in her home, or if the late dry season was always so miserable and she had less to divert her thoughts from it this year. Though not farmers like the Nephites or some of the Lamanites further south, the city still depended on trade from the Lamanites and the raids on the Nephites. But for the first time in her young life, Abish was unsure about this sacrifice day. Always before, she had seen the sacred ritual of the sacrifice as necessary and good, if a little gruesome. Even after the terrible details her father had provided, she had faith in the necessity of its performance. The festivities and anticipation of renewal in her city had always been a source of jubilation. This year, however, the sense of pending change brought her no happiness.

In idle moments, her thoughts spun more wildly than she could ever remember, and though her father had said very little, she pondered what he had said. Suddenly the reasoning behind the sacrifices made no sense. There had been sacrifices before and rain didn’t always come right away. And if there was a rain god, why should he care about human blood and gore? And didn’t the Lamanites raid crops from the Nephites? That meant the Nephites must receive rain, yet they did not sacrifice.

She knew the answers would not be forthcoming until she actually spoke to her father. Somewhere in the midst of all her pondering, idle curiosity turned into a burning desire to learn more about the one God she had never known. So she waited, knowing she would find a chance to talk to him if she was patient. She always did. Her mother kept her busier than normal these days and her father spent all of his time inside the palace and temple gates—a place she was forbidden.

Five days after his breakfast announcement, Abish’s mother scolded her for staring idly up the street when she was supposed to be adding a strip of fabric to the bottom of her second skirt to cover her ever-lengthening legs. Abish murmured, “I am sorry,” as she turned back to the fabric, forcing herself to concentrate on the menial task for which she had no talent.

Her mother looked up from her own mending and sighed. In a rare moment of empathy, she said, “I know it has not been easy living with your father and me these last days. There are things weighing heavily on our minds; things I am afraid we will never see in the same way. I forget sometimes you are caught in the middle of this awkwardness. Someday you will understand such things.”

Abish wanted to say many things to her mother about what she thought and understood, but she wisely chose to bite her tongue and merely replied, “Yes, Mother.”

Abish struggled through the rest of the afternoon. Before she finished lengthening the skirt, the sweat ran down the back of her legs and tickled the bottom of her feet. Though off her neck in two heavy plaits, her thick black hair itched from sweat. Sometimes, in brief moments, she envied the slaves in the market place with their hair cut short to the scalp, or the fierce warriors with their shaved heads.

Armac came home, as usual, late in the day. Their meal time was silent again. Abish could tell from the way his brow was nearly constantly furrowed that he was planning something rash. This made her a little bit reckless too. She must talk to him, soon, and incur Lanishe’s wrath. She had to know what he knew, so that she could decide for herself. The silence continued long after dinner and was so oppressive that Abish thought she might scream in attempt to break the tension.

Sleep wouldn’t come that night in her small loft. The heat from the day wouldn’t be gone for hours yet and her room was stifling. Her thoughts whirled until she did fall into a restless sleep of senseless and disoriented dreams. Then, a noise, almost imperceptible started her awake. She sat up abruptly from her mat, She sat very still in the stagnant, hot air. And then, she heard the sound again. Somebody was in the main room of the house. Quietly she slid off of her bed and peered down through the hole to the loft. It was her father; he was sliding into his sandals and picking up his bag, which appeared heavy. Softly he stepped out into the night. Abish quickly pulled on her daytime dress and scurried down the ladder, reminding herself with each careful step to be graceful. Quietly and carefully, she stepped into her own sandals and followed him out the door. She blinked a few times; grateful for the bright moonlight that helped her eyes adjust quickly to the street around her. Her father was just rounding the corner. He moved quickly and she nearly had to run to catch him. She did not want to sneak up on him, but still wanted to be as quiet as possible. Obviously he had left in the middle of the night to preserve secrecy, and she had no wish for anyone else to see them out here. She closed the gap between them and whispered, “Father.”

Armac whirled, startled for just a moment. He kept his voice low also. “Daughter! You have found me out.” Then he smiled slowly.

“May I join you tonight?” He looked hesitant. “Please, I have so many things to ask you.”

“Maybe you will not like the answers.”

“I have to know.”

“Your life will never be the same when you truly know.”

She paused, but only briefly and then said. “I have considered that. I am willing to change if I must.”

“Even if it means great personal sacrifice?”

“Yes, Father.” As Abish said those words, she could not have realized the full impact such a commitment would make on her life. Still, her willingness to learn was the beginning of faith and her father read the sincerity in her face in the bright moonlight.

“Then come daughter, let me teach you the things that God has shown me.” He turned noiselessly down the dark street and Abish followed. They walked in silence for what seemed like many hours. Her father’s only words were to tell her to look out for branches and mud as they entered the jungle. She hurried to keep up with her father’s strides, but was careful at the same time. It wasn’t easy. She had lately noticed that her feet seemed to have grown too fast for the rest of her and things that had once been easy were suddenly awkward and difficult. She was also frightened. She had never been in this thick part of the forest, particularly at night. When she gathered herbs she stuck to the fringes, near their city. Her father seemed to know his way well, however, and his quiet confidence and steady pace helped calm her agitation.

He led her to a clearing where they could sit on some rocks and look up into the beautiful night sky. She could see the brightness of the full moon in the clearing and its shining face helped her to further forget her fears. It was peaceful and cooler in this place. Despite her long walk and lack of sleep she did not feel tired, and was suddenly alert and anxious to know what her father had to say.

From the bag he’d carried over his shoulder he pulled what appeared to be an animal skin with some type with writing on it. “These are scriptures, Abish. They come from the king’s palace.”

Abish’s eyes grew wide. She knew that those documents should not be there, but at the same time her curiosity caused her to reach out and touch the soft skins. Besides reading and writing her own language, her father had taught her to speak snippets of other Lamanite languages. She was quite adept, but she could see the parchment in front of her was written in a language she was wholly unfamiliar with. Even though she knew they were alone, a feeling of awe came over her as she saw the scriptures and she spoke in a whisper, “What do these scriptures tell you, Father?”

“These scriptures tell me all I learned in my dream is the truth. The scripture that the priests memorize and pass to their apprentices are only parts. Usually these parts have been changed and taken out of context. The false teachings are then passed onto the next set of apprentices. I think these scriptures have not actually been read for many generations. If they had been, somebody would surely have seen the errors of our ways.” His voice grew excited as he spoke and he sounded young again.

“Tell me of your dream.”

“God came to me.”

“What did he look like?”

“He was fair of face, but he looked as much like a man as any I have ever seen. He wore a white robe and he called me his son.”

“You are his child?”

Her father nodded slowly. “Yes, my daughter. But we are ALL the children of God. If he came down to speak to you He would call you daughter.”

Abish’s heart burned within her as her father spoke this beautiful idea to her. “Just like you do?”

He continued nodding. “Yes, Abish, but His love would be greater than anything I have been able to show. After he named me, He told me He was greatly displeased with the Lamanites because they had perverted the truth and were worshipping false gods. He explained that He was the only true God and to worship any other was to reject Him.”

“What did you say to that?” Abish’s first reaction was shock. Her father’s statement was so contrary to all her teachings.

“I told him I didn’t know anything else. That I was only doing what I’d been taught. He sighed so sadly then.” Her father’s eyes filled with tears at the recollection. “He said he understood, and it made him sad to see so many of His children doing the wrong thing. He said that despite my own terrible mistakes I was the only Lamanite He could ask at this time to teach of Him. All of the other priests and apprentices in this part of the land are too wicked and self-serving. I asked him how I would know what to say to help the others learn. He told me He would help me, and that I needed to access the King’s scriptures in order to learn more.”

Abish looked with wide eyes at the aging and sacred manuscripts. “What else was in your vision?”

“He told me that human sacrifice was a gross abomination and a distortion of the true religion He has tried many times to give to us. He spoke of love and kindness and equality among His children. He said that in not too many years, He will come down among mortals and appear as a man so that we might learn more about him.”

“The Lamanite gods often appear as men.”

“Yes, but in our legends these gods only come to placate their human desires—lust, envy, greed, anger—the true god will not come to live like the worst of us. He will come instead to show us the best in ourselves. How we could live if we repented of all of those other things. Despite the love and generosity He shows, He will be rejected and killed. His sacrifice will be the true blood sacrifice. Learning about His life and His sacrifice will teach us to change and to be forgiven so that we can live with Him again in the life after this one.”

“You mean to say that not only am I God’s daughter, but I can return to Him after I die?”

“Yes, Abish, if you will but desire to follow Him.”

Abish slowly let her father’s words sink into her heart. All that she had just heard was very strange. Many questions tumbled around in her mind and she wasn’t sure what to think. But in her heart, there was a wonderful burning feeling that would not go away. She felt excited and tearful all at once. She knew that despite her lack of full understanding, her father was telling her the truth. “I feel . . .” she trailed off as she searched for the words to tell her father.

“I know, my child. There are no adequate words to describe that wonderful feeling.”

She was silent for a few moments and then said a single word. “Peace.”

He smiled. “And real joy.”

She smiled in return. “Please, tell me more.”

He continued to look through the scriptures with her and to teach her all he had learned from them in the past few days. He said he knew these things were true because as he studied he felt God’s presence with him and learning had never been so easy. He taught her about the Law of Moses that the Nephites practiced and helped her to understand the history of the rivalry between the two nations. The hours flew by as Abish’s mind opened to a myriad of new possibilities.

As dawn broke, Abish became suddenly aware of just how long they had spent in the forest. It would take her a long time to get home and there would be no reasonable explanation. Her mother would be very upset. Her father read her alarm and said, “I will go home with you this morning and talk to your mother. I will try to help her see also.”

Abish knew if her mother would just listen then surely she would feel that marvelous change come into her heart as well and the skepticism and doubt would flee. She knew that if anybody sincerely listened to her father’s beautiful words they would have to change. She imagined great sweeping changes in the people and real peace with the Nephites. The ideas were wonderful to think about as she and her father walked back through the forest. After many minutes in silence Abish said, “Father, you never told me the end of your dream. Of what else did God speak?”

Her father stopped abruptly and turned to face her. His joy was momentarily clouded as he spoke very gravely. “The way of a true believer is not easy.”

“What did He say?”
“He forbade me from any more human sacrifice. You and I both know that there is a sacrifice day coming soon.”

“I know it doesn’t give us much time, but surely you can talk to the priests and the king before then and they will see. They will be touched in their hearts too and will want things to be different; to be better.”

“No, Abish, I’m afraid it won’t work that way. If they embrace these things then it could mean the end of their money and power in exchange for equality. They won’t listen to it. God has told me that the hearts of those ruling this land are too hard and will not listen. I must tell the common people.”

“How will you do this?” Abish’s heart began to sink in her chest, but she could see the conviction in her father’s face.

“On the sacrifice day. When there is a large crowd. Then I will tell the people what they need to hear. God will allow time for his message to be heard. There may even be some converts.”

“You will surely be imprisoned.”

Her father looked very sad. He reached out and touched his daughter’s innocent face. “No, it is more likely that I will be killed—probably even sacrificed to appease false gods.”

“No!” Abish shouted in the forest and drew away from his touch. “If God is so full of love, why would he demand this from you; from our family?”

“God has called me. I must follow or be more condemned than those who follow false ways. I know the truth now. My salvation is at stake.”

“Go into hiding; preach to the people in private.”

He sadly shook his head, “God has told me how this is to be done. He also told me that the most powerful convert would be my own daughter. He said it would be many years hence before the importance of my words would sink into the hearts of many of the Lamanites and that you would be an important part of that realization. I don’t know what this means, but you must ponder the things we have spoken this night and you must never forget them.”

“I cannot do this.” Abish’s eyes filled with tears. She was little more than a child and her father’s words were difficult.

This time he stopped fully, and turned to face her. Abish looked at the intensity in his burning dark eyes and knew that she would never forget this moment. He put his arm on her shoulder and lowered his voice. “You know the truth as I do, Abish. It is up to you to follow. Nobody else can make this decision for you.”

“Is there nothing I can say to convince you of your folly?” Abish was getting desperate as she thought of her father being sacrificed on those bloody steps. Tears began to roll down her face.

“It is never folly to do God’s will. I love you very much, but I must put God first. I have always claimed to do so, and now the real God has given me an opportunity I cannot run from. Look deep in your heart and you will see that the consequences of my actions over the next few days are not God’s fault, but the fault of wicked men making horrible choices. The road of true discipleship is rocky and unpredictable, but we must trust that God will make it all fair in the end.” Abish’s tears didn’t abate for a long time as they finished their walk home. It was well into the morning before they arrived.