Chapter 27--Swallowed Up In The Joy of God

The night before departure Abish dreamed of a forest. She had seen this forest long ago—it was the same place where her father taught her the gospel so many years before. Her last dream of it had been punctuated by blood and fear. This night there was only peace. She was hunting for Himni, but she was not afraid. She knew he was near and would find him soon. She woke from her dream as dawn streamed through her window. She lay in bed for a moment, feeling peace wash over her.

The feeling only lasted a moment before she quickly moved to the pot near her bed. The familiar wave of nausea engulfed her and she threw up what little there was in her stomach. It was common for women to be sick when they were with child, but her sickness was the worst she’d ever seen. She was always sick, and could not gain weight. She counted it a small victory if she kept food down for more than a couple of hours. She knew that having a baby of her own would make her a much more empathetic midwife, and she couldn’t help but laugh to herself at how hollow many of her soothing words must have sounded to her mothers over the years.

Their few belongings were packed. She would load them on the llama as soon as she suffered through some breakfast and head to the palace. By midday, the vanguard group would begin its journey north. If all went well, she would see her husband again in just a few weeks. Maybe the sickness would be past then and she could greet him with cheerfulness and excitement over the coming child he knew nothing about. There were other changes in their family too—Aaron and Zaria were quietly making plans to be married. Ammon’s daughter was only days old and Abish did not relish the idea of Selah or the baby traveling, but there was nothing to be done. The baby had come early, and she was small, but Selah’s delivery had been remarkably easy for a first- time mother, and she was recovering quickly. While the situation was not ideal, Abish was grateful the baby had not come while they were in flight. There would be plenty of those: maybe even her own.

Until now, she had kept word of her pregnancy a secret; she wanted Himni to know first. It wasn’t hard to keep secret. She had lost so much weight that she wouldn’t show for many more weeks. She knew that Zaria suspected, but Abish had excused her poor health by saying that she was worried. She knew this was untruthful; for all the stress in lives of the Ammonites at this time, the Spirit spoke peace to her heart. Just as in her dream, they were seeking something important and would yet wander, but the Lord was watching out for them.


Abish began loading their few packs when her sickness came again. She rushed in the house, pushed her matted hair away from her face, and leaned over the pot she had come to hate. Her retching made her sweat even more profusely in the already hot morning. The height of the warmest season was still to come. She trembled with weakness as she finished, trying to banish the premonition that travel would be misery.

She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the wall which still held some of the night’s coolness, praying once again that the sickness would pass long enough for her to do the next task at hand. This prayer had often worked in recent weeks as she delivered babies. It would have to work again today. Suddenly she sensed someone in the door of her house. She turned quickly to see Aaron and Ammon standing there. “Brothers! What are you doing here?” She forced a smile, wondering how long they had been there and hoping she didn’t look as rotten as she felt.

Aaron spoke, “We have come to help you pack, sister.”

She shrugged, swallowing the acrid taste in her mouth and trying to appear pleasant. “There is very little to be done; I am sure there are others in need of more help than I am.”

Ammon joined in. “Zaria and Selah are being taken care of. We came to help you first, before the others.” She began to protest, but he interrupted, “I made a promise to my brother that Aaron and I would look after you. Since you have no father or husband to help you, and your own brother is busy with his family, we will have to do.”

Aaron stepped forward, the concern in his face heavy, “Besides, you are unwell.” Abish felt the flush cover her already hot face. He continued, “You have been unwell for some time now. Your friends and family are worried. Let us help you.”

“I am not sick. Not really.” She could see their dubious looks, and had to admit she was grateful to see them. “But I will gladly take your help today.”

They both smiled and for a moment she was so reminded of Himni that she wanted to cry. Aaron said, “Before we load up; Ammon and I will give you a blessing.”

Again, she nearly protested, but then her heart told her to think better of it. She did need some extra comfort and strength. How many times had she recently thought she would have given almost anything to have Himni lay hands on her head? Here was the next best thing, and they had come to her knowing what she needed. She nodded slowly, not quite trusting her voice to sound steady if she spoke.

Ammon acted as voice, and her heart thrilled with the joy of the Spirit. He pronounced a blessing of healing and strength on her and then there was a long pause. “And now, dear sister, the Lord wishes to say some other things to you.” There was another pause and his voice held some emotion when he continued, “He wishes you to know he is pleased with your marriage. The baby growing inside of you will be born healthy and strong, although the circumstances under which he comes will try you to the very limits of your strength. The Lord will give you this blessing as a reward for the many lives you have ushered into this mortal existence. The son you deliver will be the first of many children, and you will be a true mother in Israel.

“This child will be yours for less time than you would choose, but he will go on the Lord’s errand along with many of those you have delivered in recent months. They will defend the faith of their fathers and the integrity of Lamoni’s covenant. Look to the Lord always as you raise this little man so he can be given with full heart to your Father in Heaven when the time comes.

“The Lord blesses you with a righteous posterity that will span generations. One of your descendents will walk side by side with the Savior here on this earth as an apostle to the most high God.

“Your name will be known for righteousness for many years hence among this people and then again, generations from now, in the great days before the Lord’s second coming when the earth will be cleansed by fire.

“You will have many years of life yet with your husband in the Nephite lands where you will be leaders among this people, both in their temporal and their spiritual lives. Remember that your illness now is a small moment and that faithful endurance for every trial yet to come in your life will bring you everlasting life and all other blessings promised this day.

“I seal this blessing upon you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.”

Ammon took a step back and Abish slowly opened her eyes wide and stared at Ammon. The peace she had felt during her dream was back and infused every part of her. She knew the tears streamed down her face, but she made no move to rid herself of them. The simple blessing of healing had somehow turned into a prophetic roadmap for her life, for her posterity.

She smiled through her tears after a moment or two of silence, “I suppose Zaria guessed about the baby.”

Ammon shook his head, “If she has, she has told me nothing of it. I only found out minutes ago, when the Spirit began whispering such promptings to me.”

Aaron said, “Congratulations, sister.”

Abish smiled, “Thank you. I suppose it is silly not to say anything . . . I had hoped Himni would know first.”

“We will tell no one else.” Ammon said with uncharacteristic restraint.

“I think it is time to tell. I think I have waited because I have been worried; and I have been very sick. I think I am not worried anymore.”

Aaron smiled, “And hopefully you will not continue to be sick, either.”

Abish laughed, “Eve was told that in sorrow she would bring forth children, but if the Lord sees fit to take the sickness from me, I wouldn’t argue!”

The silence returned, and although there was much to do, none of them wanted to erase the mood that had been created that morning with such practical matters. Still, leaving that day was imperative and Aaron quietly began hefting parcels to carry into the yard. Ammon and Abish both allowed a ghost of a sigh to escape at nearly the same time. The animal was loaded in a manner of minutes and Abish embraced each of her brothers, feeling an overwhelming surge of gratitude for each blessing she had been given.


Himni paced in Antiomno’s palace. It had been many weeks since Ammon’s departure, and they looked for the arrival of those from the land of Ishmael any day. Once Ishmael had traveled through, Omner’s group from Midian would bring up the rear. That was the plan, anyway, unless danger was imminent. Then each brother was supposed to use his discretion to lead the people out of the land whether the others had come or not. Himni was certain more would join them as they traveled east before going north. He hoped they had planned for enough. The responsibilities of recent weeks had nearly overwhelmed him. More than once he had wished for Omner’s organization, Aaron’s leadership, or Ammon’s ability to make people listen. But he had none of these gifts, and he had spent many hours on his knees, trying to learn the Lord’s will.

Now all had been in readiness for a week. Rumors had come in early today of some Lamanite movement from Jerusalem. The king had quickly dispatched some men to determine the veracity of the stories. If they were true then the city would have to be abandoned in the next few days. Even if the Ishmaelites arrived tomorrow, there would be no time to rest before moving on; no time to spend with Abish before he was expected to lead again. He fought the murmuring spirit he felt in his heart. In all these years, the Lord’s work had never been a burden. Now his heart was torn. He longed to be settled on a farm with his wife and the children he hoped they would have. He wanted his family to come first, even before the church. Not before the Lord certainly, but he had begun to feel that cultivating his relationship with Abish was the most important thing he would ever do.

There was a knock at the door. Himni strode quickly to it, hoping for a diversion from his moody thoughts. “Yes?”

One of the king’s servants said, “My lord, there is news.”

“From the border?” Himni was surprised. The messengers had only gone after breakfast. They may have to leave even sooner than expected.

But the messenger shook his head, “No, sir, from your brother.”

“Ammon?” He felt his pulse quicken.

“Yes. They are but one day out. Someone was sent to report.”

“Excellent. Thank you so much for your news.”

He bowed low. Lower than Himni was comfortable with. He felt silly that he didn’t know the man’s name. He stretched his hand out and touched him on the shoulder. “You needn’t bow, we will soon live in a land where all men are given equal status.”

The man smiled and said, “I know, sir, but this people will never stop holding in reverence those Nephites who came to deliver us from a fate worse than death.”

“Give God the praise.” Himni’s response was almost automatic to the reverence he and his brothers were too often given.

“Indeed I do, every day, but when I get a chance to be in the presence of one of his messengers I am not unaware of the privilege.”

“What is your name, son?”

“Zenon.”

“Well, Zenon, when we are in the Land of Jershon, drop by my home one day and you will see how a messenger of God sows his field with his own hands.”

Zenon grinned as he bowed again and scooted off down the hall. Himni leaned against the door jamb, unable to fight the flips his heart was doing. He couldn’t wait any longer; there was only one road they could be on. He would find them tonight.


Abish was exhausted. Although the worst of her nausea had passed after Ammon’s blessing, the tiredness she felt deep into her bones was a daily part of her life. In addition, all of the travel had brought on early labors the last two nights. One of the mothers responded well to herbs and did not deliver. It was good; she was many weeks too early and infant would surely have died. The other, however, would not be stopped. The baby boy she delivered was pitifully small and wasn’t eating well. She had put on her best face as she went to visit the mother just two hours ago, but unless he turned around quickly he would not survive the week. Abish fought the sadness, reminding herself that in just a day or two she would see her husband, and in just a few more weeks this exodus would all be a fuzzy memory.

Before dark she went to gather more herbs. Other pregnant mothers would be able to use them for the pain of their long journey and to help their bodies rest so the babies would not come early. Although it had been many years since she had lived in Middoni, the forest was still vaguely familiar. She had collected herbs many times in woods very near here. Ammon and Aaron would have a fit if they saw her on her own in the forest, but she had slipped away unnoticed anyway. She vowed silently to be back before supper, which she usually shared with Zaria and Selah, their husbands, and her brother’s family—and whoever else might join them. She smiled lightly to herself. It seemed that someone was always in need of a blessing, or an audience with the queen, or a visit with the midwife. And, more often than not, these visits took place right when the food came off the fire.

She hummed lightly to herself as she gathered herbs, grateful for the focus and concentration her task gave. She noted that it was getting late in the day and hurried. Some of the herbs she had collected would make excellent flavoring for the stew that was cooking. Since her appetite had begun to come back, she noticed that different flavors of food appealed to her on different days: a thing she had always teased her mothers about. One by one her stereotypes had been defeated and she chuckled lightly as she bent over.

“And what is so funny?” The loud, familiar, male voice behind her was startling and she jumped. She whirled, expecting to see one of her brothers-in-law. Instead, Himni stood in the clearing, the light fading just behind him. She yelped for joy and ran to him, hardly noticing that she dropped her basket in the process. She embraced him wildly and he held her so tightly she thought she would burst.

“You came to meet us.” She was nearly breathless with excitement.

“All is in readiness in Middoni and I couldn’t sleep another night alone.” She thought her heart would burst from happiness, and she hugged him again. “You are thin.” He held her away slightly, his concern evident.

She nodded, but smiled, “I am. But I am doing much better now and I think I have even gained back some of my weight.”

“You have been ill?”

She smiled even brighter, relishing the moment after so many months apart, “We are going to have a baby.”

The smile returned and he laughed. He picked her up and turned her around in his arms. He stopped almost immediately and set her very gingerly down. “I need to be careful.”

It was her turn to laugh. “I’m still myself, and such a thing cannot hurt our child.”

“I think those are the most wonderful words I’ve ever heard.” He kissed her and they both began to talk almost immediately, releasing all the bottled conversation from the previous weeks. He helped her collect the things for her basket and walked arm and arm with her back toward the camp. As at other times, Abish hesitated joining the group just slightly. She knew that Himni and his brothers would be anxious to report on their activities, but she loved these quiet moments with her husband.

“When we share these peaceful moments together, I sometimes forget that you belong to all of them too.” She smiled a little ruefully at her admission.

He pulled her close and tipped his head to hers. “But I am yours first. I know that over the years I will have many duties that pull me away from our family. Please know I will feel it keenly every time.”

Bittersweet tears smarted in her eyes, and the voice in her heart reminded her once again to cherish the moments they had and not grudge the ones they didn’t. She nodded slowly, “I knew what you were when I married you, Himni. I don’t think I could love you as much if you were any less of a man.”

“Then let’s go face our responsibilities together.”


The entire group set out together within days of Aaron and Zaria’s hasty wedding. Abish was grateful to see that her friend looked genuinely happy, though not in the same way that younger, less experienced, brides did. The joy among the people was palpable and even Lamoni’s family seemed at peace with Zaria’s choice.

Abish had to admit, however, that meeting up with Himni again and the wedding just two days later had been the high point. Instead of going straight north into the heart of the Nephite holdings, they had made a wide arc to the east along the edge of the wilderness. They turned north just above Helam. It had been shockingly hot and Abish knew she was still not gaining weight as she should be. Everything in her midwife’s instincts told her that her pregnancy was less than normal, but she clung to the promise of Ammon’s blessing and trusted that somehow she would be able to deliver a healthy baby boy when the time was right.

Coupled with the relentless travel and heat was the fact that she would sometimes go for days without seeing Himni. She fought her frustration over this circumstance. Hadn’t she told him just a couple of weeks before that she couldn’t love him as much if he were any less of a man? Still, it seemed he often volunteered to oversee groups who were struggling with leadership or faith. She saw Aaron and Ammon more often than her own husband. Why should Zaria and Selah have so much attention? They were, after all, traveling in a large group with much additional help—more than most had. Zaria was not with child, and Selah’s daughter, though still small, was healthy and gaining strength.

They had just made it through the northern wilderness and into the beginning of Nephite lands when she finally snapped with the tension. She hadn’t seen Himni in nearly four days and had no idea where he was. A messenger came to tell her he had returned, but had immediately gone into council with his brothers and the kings. Abish was furious. The heat had been especially unbearable that day, and the sickness had lately come back with a vengeance. When the messenger found her, she had just come back from wandering as far from camp as she could to be sick. She was thirsty and feverish. She did not have the energy to fetch water or to seek her husband. She lay down instead.

Her dreams were wild and disjointed. She wandered through a dense, dark forest, seeking out green and brown pools only to find shallow pits of mud that stuck to her feet and mired her movement. The mud was hot, and she tried to drink from these pools. She woke up choking and coughing. It was dark, but still hot. Himni stirred near her in the darkness and was immediately at her side. She squeaked a single word, “Water.”

“There is none, Love, you have let the bucket run dry.”

Something in her burst and she began to cry, great racking sobs pushing their way past the dry lump in her throat. It was like sticking her head in the sand and trying to scream. When she could speak she croaked, “Of course it has run dry; I have been so sick and weak today I could barely make it into camp tonight and there is no one to help me.”

She read the guilty look on his face in a moment, an expression she had never seen in their months together. For a brief moment she felt glad she had hurt him, gratified he knew how much of her suffering he had been unable to alleviate. He jumped up immediately with the bucket in their small shelter. She lay back against her mat willing herself to stop crying, to hold on to all the moisture she could, but the tears were beyond her control as every bitter thought of the past weeks flooded through her brain. She fought impatience at his long absence; she hadn’t had the strength to vie for a spot near fresh water that night and knew that she was far from the stream.

Despite the fever and the ache in her throat and chest, she was nearly asleep again when he returned. She swallowed greedily, feeling some of the energy flow back into her. Himni watched her with wide eyes; she knew that she must seem like a stranger to him for her behavior, but she was tired of pretending to have superhuman strength of body and spirit. When he saw that she had finally drunk her fill, he said quietly, “I had no idea.”

She nodded miserably, “I know.”

“The messenger I sent told me that he spoke with you.”

“He did.”

“You should have sent word with him that you weren’t well.”

The tears burned her eyelids again, but it seemed that, at least for now, no more were going to fall. “I haven’t been well, Darling. For some time. Today was just the low point in many weeks. Besides, I knew that if you had gone immediately to a meeting with your brothers then there must be important things to discuss.”

“I have been away many days. I should have seen you first.” He hung his head, avoiding her eyes.

“Yes. You should have.” Abish could not help but say it. “I know there will be times you must be away—even long periods of time. It doesn’t mean that it is easy.”

“The Lord will help you, Abish. You must pray for strength.”

Abish took another dipper of water to try and swallow away her impatience. “The Lord has helped me. And every day, 100 times a day, I pray for strength to go another fifty steps. I will count to fifty and then pray again to make it another fifty. And every time I pray I thank God that I haven’t collapsed so that I would become a burden to someone else. I don’t know for how many more days I can do this. Not alone.”

Himni looked at her for the first time in minutes and reached his hand out to her. His words were not accusatory, but pleading, “And what I am to do? I cannot be in all the places I am needed at the same time. There are assignments I have that help hold these people together. Surely you must understand this.”

“They are not just your assignments, Himni. I see your brothers nearly every day. They are with their wives—their children. I know that Aaron is newly married and that Ammon has a new child, but their wives are healthy and strong, with armies of servants to fetch and carry water and work for them. Aaron has spent nearly as much time with Zaria in the weeks since their marriage as you and I have in all the months we have been married. These responsibilities are not just yours to carry.”

Himni’s eyes filled with tears, “I know. I keep volunteering thinking that my wife is more understanding than theirs are.”

Abish sighed, “I am understanding. I just wish your brothers would see the importance of finding out if their wives can be understanding too.”

He nodded. “Then you will not like our latest discussion.”

Abish felt her heart sink down to her feet; she hadn’t thought she could feel any worse, but suddenly she did. “Oh no.”

“Ammon would like to head north with a very small group, toward the land of Zarahemla, to see if we can plead the case of these people to the government. Letters were written to Alma, but no replies received; we are unsure the Nephites know we are coming. And Aaron fears our reception if we march this group with their dark skin right into the center of the Nephite holdings.”

“So you and your brothers will go.”

Himni nodded, “You will be alone, but you will have time to rest. The camp has enough provisions to last here for several more weeks. We will gain entry to the land of Jershon and be back to escort the group north. You will be well taken care of here.”

“By whom?” Himni paused, unable to answer. “Since I was 10 years old I have been taking care of myself. But right now I can’t. I need my husband.” She knew that she sounded desperate and the tears were in danger of spilling again. She looked deep into his changeable eyes, pleading with him to see a side of her he had never known.

He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head, “We will work it out, Darling. I won’t leave you again, not for so long. Not before the baby comes.” The tension left her body almost immediately into his warm embrace and she practically collapsed into him. He stroked her hair and whispered to her of his love. She felt the baby leap inside of her as he often did late at night. She moved Himni’s hand to the slight swell in her abdomen and shushed his talking. He was still for a moment and then something moved under his hand; he looked at her in wonder and she smiled tiredly. He repeated his pledge, “I will not leave you again, girl. We will find a way.”


She woke the next morning to much noise. She knew the camp was bustling around her, probably ready to leave for the day. She was alone, and her head ached with thirst and the memory of all the tears shed last night. Despite his valiant promises, he was gone and there was nothing to be done besides take down her tent and drag herself through another day’s march.

She rolled wearily onto one arm and up into a kneeling position. She said her morning prayers, trying to concentrate through the exhaustion so that she wasn’t just repeating words. Lately her prayers had been a never-ending mantra, “Dear Father, please help me through one more day.”

Her tears stung, but didn’t come. She was grateful. She considered herself to be more practical than weepy and it was unlike her to be so emotional. She needed to get a hold on things. It would probably get worse before it became better. She opened her eyes and pushed against the ground to stand, still unused to her new center of balance.

She stepped into the bright, hot morning and blinked back the sunlight. The noise she had heard was just the typical noise of the camp. None of the tents had been taken down. Perhaps they would stay here, as Himni had said. Before he left he could help her move her small tent nearer to Zaria’s; at least they would be together while their husbands were gone. And, despite her angry words from the night before, she knew that Zaria would help to look after her.

These thoughts had barely left her head when she saw Himni making his way toward her. She could read the concern in his nearly blue eyes, but she could also tell that he had news to tell her. He put his arm around the small of her back, supporting her. He said, “I was hoping to be back before you were up for the day. Are you well?”

His concern and attentiveness was so touching that it pricked her conscience for her first thoughts of the morning. She forced a smile despite the headache already growing behind her eyes, “I did sleep well last night.”

“At least half the night.” He said gently.

She nodded, agreeing, but still smiled. “Better than none.”

“Have you had something to eat?”

She shook her head and he handed her some corn cakes. “Let’s get out of the sun.”

Abish readily agreed and they went inside. The tent wasn’t much cooler, but the noise was muted and the glare was gone. She took another dipper of tepid water. When he saw that she was settled, he said, “I have an idea.”

“I’m listening.”

“Before you just say no; it is important to realize that there are not a lot of good options right now.”

She smiled, trying to mitigate his nervousness and repeated, “I’m listening.”

He smiled too and much of the tension from the last twelve hours melted away. “Omner and I talked early this morning, and his wife doesn’t want to stay behind either. He had been reluctant to say anything about bringing her along because of their two little ones; he knows his family will only slow our pace. I know Ammon and Aaron want to make the journey as quickly as possible. But I agreed with him. I even suggested that we approach our brothers about all of us bringing our families.”

“Are there safety concerns?”

He nodded. “Maybe. In our last letters from Alma, he spoke of Lamanites attacking some of the border cities.”

“The reports that started all of this.”

“Exactly. Still, I think the group here is far enough east to be away from any direct attack because the city that was hit the worst is far north and nearly all the way to the western sea. My brothers and I will head west and north, but we will strike Nephite cities long before we get to the lands where the fighting has been.”

“Where do you think I am the safest?”

He hesitated a moment. “I am torn between saying here with your people, or on the road with your husband.”

“Most of these men have sworn the oath. We have many bows for hunting, but there are very few swords among us.”

“It is true.”

“The sooner we get to Jershon the better.”

“Obviously.”

“So the sooner you and your brothers get to your friends the better.” The cold logic pointed to him leaving her again. But for how long?

He nodded over her last comment; he couldn’t lie to her, but after just a pause he said, “But despite that, I do not want to leave you here.”

She smiled ruefully. “And I do not really want to stay. Has the Lord spoken on this matter?”

“I haven’t thought through much of it on my own yet, but I have felt little prompting one way or the other.” Abish sighed, wondering if she could even receive inspiration for such a decision. Her desire to be with her him outweighed every rational impulse. “Omner and I feel that if our brothers agree then we will bring our families.”

Abish nodded, “I will go if I may.”


In the end it took some convincing, and Ammon was unhappy about it. He fought his impatience the morning they left as his eight month old nephew wailed about being awakened to be put into a pack on his mother’s back. The four year old was excited, but no doubt that would last about half an hour and then he would need to ride one of their already overburdened pack animals. He had prayed about the decision to allow them to come, but unlike Himni and Omner he felt no confidence about getting any answer. Once he had agreed to allow them to bring their wives, Shem and Muloki had jumped on board as well. They were now more like a group of settlers than a swift party of messengers.

While Ammon was unhappy about the decision, Aaron was practically furious. Ammon couldn’t help but wonder if some of he and his next brother’s feelings stemmed from the fact that their own wives seemed so perfectly content to stay. While this was obviously for the best, Selah and Zaria hardly seemed to miss a beat over their departure. He dismissed the thought rapidly, but it would creep up now and then during their journey; particularly when he saw Himni’s attentiveness to Abish and how sweetly she responded to him. He loved his wife and knew their relationship was growing all the time, but he could never decide if Abish and Himni acted more like young newlyweds or old married people who were as comfortable with one another as a favorite pair of sandals. Even Omner seemed to share this same kind of formula with Tisha.

Besides, Ammon had hoped to have this last time with just his brothers and the few mission companions that they had begun with so many years before. It would have been a fitting ending to their service. But things had changed, as they always did. He knew that in every way the changes were for the long-term best. He was not a young man anymore, but he sometimes remembered with fondness the wide-eyed faith with which he had embarked on his mission. Twelve years was a long time.

As they neared the Nephite cities, his anxiety grew. He could sense this in his brothers as well. What would they find? It had been over a year since Ammon had last heard from Alma and written his reply. For all their talk about equality with their Lamanite brethren, they truly knew nothing of the system of government used in this land now. While they had been raised with work, they had still been raised to be kings. And, while Ammon would never admit it when he was younger, there was a degree of privilege that went with such status.

In his anxiety, he had stopped sleeping almost completely and food tasted like straw in his mouth. One night in the quiet by the fire, Himni said to him very quietly, “You are unwell, brother.”

“I know. It will be better when we make it to Zarahemla. We will travel around the city of Aaron in the next few days and follow the Sidon River northward. It will be better then.” He repeated the words as much to reassure himself as his brother.

“We may see someone we know.” Ammon nodded. The same possibility had occurred to him. “Besides,” Himni continued, “the Lord will watch out for His people. He asked them to come.”

“Or did I?”

“What?”

“Did the Lord ask them to come, or did I ask them?”

Himni looked thoughtful and was silent for a few minutes. “You are the one who was foreordained to find these people. You are their spiritual leader. Whether the Lord asked them directly, or through you, it is the same. They have testimonies of the true Messiah, who will come to redeem them; they know that you are his mouthpiece. I know that you are His mouthpiece.”

Despite his never-ending exhaustion, the knot in his stomach eased slightly and he smiled. “Thank you for your faith.”

“Thank you for bringing me on this journey with you.”

There was quiet again, Himni stirred. No doubt he wanted to be with his wife. “How is Abish?” Ammon said.

His brow immediately furrowed. “I am worried. And even with all her birth experience, she is worried. Our exodus could not have come at a worse time.”

“Do you think she should have stayed behind?”
”I would rather know how she is doing and help her through it than wonder each day if she was taken care of.”

“The Lord told me that the circumstances this baby came to the world under would be less than ideal.”

“Yes. She said as much. She clings to the blessings you promised her to get through each day’s difficulties.”

“Maybe that is a lesson of hope for all of us in our trials.”


Abish was grateful for the abundance of daily, fresh water that was available during this latest part of their journey. Several Nephite towns were clustered together and hardly an hour went by when they didn’t pass people on the busy road that followed the river. Every person who passed them shot a few covert glances at the brown skin of all the women in their party, and the strange dress of the white men. Nobody recognized her husband or his brethren.

The weather, mercifully, was getting cooler and, except for the hottest part of the afternoon, finding shade was not difficult. They had just passed the city of Melek when a small miracle happened. A small group approached them. Abish knew nothing of Nephite customs, but she knew that something about the group was important. Their clothing was different somehow. Not necessarily richer, but maybe more ceremonial. Her entire party had slowed just slightly and Abish immediately sensed the tension in the air. She was not the only one who was watchful. Perhaps, like her, the men had sensed the importance of this group and were hoping to find someone they knew, or could connect with.

Ammon saw him first, “Alma?”

The tall man in the center of the group that was now nearly parallel to them turned his head slightly as Ammon pushed his way past Aaron to the front. The man who answered to “Alma” stepped through his men as well and stood just feet from Ammon. The recognition only took seconds. Even Abish had to admit, you never forgot Ammon’s eyes once they had bored into your soul.

Both of them began talking almost immediately and Abish heard Alma exclaim that he knew he had come this way for a reason. After just moments of talking over one another, the two friends embraced, and then Ammon collapsed.

His brothers were at his side in a moment. Himni had told Abish that he didn’t think Ammon was well, and perhaps he had been right. He was revived in a matter of seconds and joked that it was joy that had knocked him senseless for a few minutes, but Abish read the concern on her husband’s face. Aaron laughed, “Well I’m happy too, Ammon, but my joy is not greater than my strength!”

Alma patted Aaron heartily on the back, “Ammon’s joy is always the strongest emotion in the room,” and grinned broadly as he said it.

Alma, in turn, met each of them and there was much happiness all around. For all that she knew of their friend, she suddenly found herself shy when she was introduced as Himni’s wife. Tears flooded her eyes when he looked at her very tenderly and said, “No doubt this has been a hard journey for you, dear sister.”

His greeting flooded her heart with warmth, “But worth it to meet the Lord’s prophet.”

“I am a man, Abish. And my faith is subject to trial and testing just like anybody’s.”

Somehow she doubted that his faith after his conversion had ever faltered as much as hers, but he was so gracious and friendly that she couldn’t help smiling, despite her raised eyebrows. She said lightly, “If only we could all be angels and spend our days preaching the gospel instead of worrying about the concerns of the flesh.”

His face broke out into smile. “I like that! Oh indeed that I were an angel!” He laughed out loud and reached out for her hands. “But if I am not, then I will be content to shake hands with one from time to time.”

Abish felt the warmth fill her face and laughed too. No wonder Himni and his brothers had such fond feelings for their friend. No wonder men had always followed him. And she would follow him too. For years she had longed to meet the man her husband called prophet. The Spirit whispered of rest and peace and new beginnings to her heart and her baby leaped for joy in her womb.